Insane trip to Bath

In olden days, the days of Jane Austin, women made trips to Bath Spa to relax and heal. My trip to Bath Spa was of the most stressful, insane trips yet in the UK. But I’m getting ahead of myself in this story. This story begins on a Friday morning when an old co-worker of mine asked me to accompany him to the town of Newbury. I had plenty on my plate (job applications, meetings to set up and errands to run), but he insisted that it wouldn’t take all day, it would be a nice trip and he'd take me to lunch. I like food, so I agreed.

Newbury. Wonderful little town with a genuine English village feel to it. I’ve been to this town before but never spent the entire day trudging around in it. My co-worker went off to an interview once we hit Newbury and I wandered around in circles. What else am I to do? I have a bus ticket and fifteen pounds in my pocket as I thought we were just lunching. After his interview, we’re off to dinner (another Wetherspoon’s of course. We usually go there or Nando’s when he invites me out for dinner). He orders something for me and so I’ll be surprised to see what it is when the food arrives (in pubs you order food & pay at the bar, not sitting at the table). He also brings back a pint. This goes over verra well since I haven’t eaten anything yet. But after dinner I’m feeling good and this dude drags me out to some ancient ruin called Donnington Castle.

So we walk in the twilight to the ruins of what use to be a castle- now a crumpled tower, but argh I’ve no camera because I didn’t think to bring one on his “quick trip”. The castle is pretty cool even if I can barely see it because it’s dark outside. It was originally built in 1380s then awarded to Sir John Boys by The Black Prince after the civil war. (Here leads to confusion, because I thought Edward was the Black Prince and according to the stone tablet at the castle, the fortress was given by the Black Prince, but other history will tell you King Charles I took hold of the castle and gave it to Sir John).

Ready to head back home I trudge back towards the town of Newbury, but he wants to go out drinking and not before we stop at a store for what? Heck if I know, but then my co-worker says he wants to buy me a blouse. Oh boy… so he comes out with a school girl’s uniform top. I think he’s joking, he is not. *slaps forehead* Too make a long story short, he’s gets drunk and I’m babysitter. We go from one pub to the next and return to the original pub we were in for dinner, only now he orders beer, hot chocolate and pancakes…what a combo! No doubt the medications he’s on only added to the chaos pint after pint. I’ve had enough fun on our little trip and would just like to get back to my own “To do” list. It’s now about 8pm and I’ve accomplished nothing with my day. He refuses to go home and I’ve also missed my bus with no hope of catching another one especially with only five pounds in my pocket. He says it’s ok, we’ll take the train and he will buy my ticket for inconvenience, so we burn some time waiting for the train (which isn't expected for 2 hours) by going to the movies. I drag Drunken Mess off to see The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. I must admit he’s a trooper through this movie because even I thought it was horrible. Still waiting for a plot? Me too. The most positive thing I can say about the movie is that Bell’s wedding gown is nice-simple yet elegant. So anyway, the movie is over and it’s half past ten. Shall we get on the train and head home? Yes. But this dude has other ideas and wants to run away from home and in doing so drags me along with him. I missed the train stop for Reading and so now the next stop is where?!?!? Bath. *Smacks forehead* DOH!

With little cash and nothing but the sweater on my back (not even a toothbrush), he wants to take a surprise trip to Bath! Stop the insanity! Bath is a fine place to travel to I’m sure, but not at two o’clock in the morning. Sheesh! The last train of the night arrives in Bath and dumps us off into the empty streets. Next we try to find a hotel room in which to crash. Five of the hotels in the town centre are booked full and Dude is wandering around an unfamiliar town asking anyone he can find, directions (*Note: the only people out on the streets at one thirty in the morning are the drunks-how reliable are their directions??? BRILLIANT.) After an hour or two of wandering the vacant streets of Bath trying to locate a hotel, we locate a youth hostel with a room (bless his heart, this guy still thinks I’m a youth) but atlas, we cannot stay there. Next we stroll over to the only thing open at this time of the night- McDonalds - where all the drunks flock to like moths to an open flame. I was not verra excited to be in or near this charade. This old gal wanted nothing more than a nice warm bed to sleep in and to stop wandering the empty, frigid streets of Bath. One drunken man tried crossing the street when all of a sudden a car horn blasts and his friends pull him back on to the curb saving him from being run over. I hear the drunken man remark, “I thought we were in Europe.”

“We are in Europe,” reply his friends.

“No. The other Europe. Where the cars come from the left side of the street. Not the bloody UK.” The drunk retorts.

I did all but pee myself listening to this madness. At almost three o’clock in the morning, we locate a hotel outside the town centre and bless her heart, the receptionist gives us a room extension so we can sleep in and not have to check out until one p.m. This old girl *not happy at all* just wants a hot shower and to fall into bed.

The next morning, aka. Saturday noon; drag on the same clothes I wore from yesterday. Ew, I know. What a fun surprising trip this has turned out to be! *Loaded sarcasm* Well at least I’m showered right? My old co-worker says it’s like backpacking and only sometimes you need clean underpants and socks the rest will be fine. I beg to differ. Since I’m in such a pleasant mood, he wants to continue the insanity by touring Bath in the sunlight this time (or overcast skies as this is England). He orders me another surprise lunch at Nando’s  this time. Nando’s (Portuguese food from an African franchise) is a pretty cool place you should try it if you’re given the opportunity. He also wants to continue this madness into Bristol. Sure, why not? I’ll just wear the same clothes until they can stand on their own…

He also wants to hop into one of the spa pools but again poor planning leads to no swimming gear. Too bad because that would’ve been awesome but we settle for a tour of the old Roman bath pools instead. The line is soooo long it takes an hour to get to the end so instead I wander into the Bath Abbey. This place an architectural wonder (as I over use the word in all my blogs) and we stay for a Christmas carol service which is really cool especially when the little choir boy stood up and sang his solo. They do this every year so if you’re in Bath around Christmas, check it out sometime. They also have a Christmas street market complete with Christmas carolers on the sidewalk. But if that’s not enough for you (as is the case with this bloke) take a stroll away from all the Christmas chaos and head toward the river. It is here I lost him somewhere in the city. I tried calling his cell but he’s not the most responsible and forgets to charge his phone so it’s dead and not ringing. This reminds me of the time I was abandoned in London and déjà vu kicks in but I’m calm and go about sightseeing. There is a man in the street entertaining onlookers by juggling swords in the air and people playing in a nearby fountain.

It grows colder and gets darker so I head back to the train station to end this crazy weekend. My co-worker catches up with me nearby and I talk him out of the insanity of Bristol when he insists on buying new clothes and makes yet another trip to another department store- (I think I’ve been in almost every Waitrose and Sainsbury’s in Reading AND Bath now). We hop on the train to Reading and head home finally. I lose him once again at the Reading station (this boy is slipperier than a greased pig) and head home. Relieved that I’m back, I can conclude this craziness with a nice, hot, relaxing bath. And what better way to end a trip to Bath than with a bath?